sighss

i damn lazy wanna blog here la.

so let make it a informal blog then.

well there is nothing much with me actually. i got nothing much to complain but lot of time to waste.

i looking for a part-timer job now. and will be looking for thing to do just to spend this long sigh-time i got.

i am almost fully recover from my fever already. and now i am looking for some good song to listen to.

does anyone know herbs is bitter. yuck and i just taste some bitter herbs medicine just now.

excited

Just the right time to blog now.

And definitely YES I am still pretty excited, wild and hyper about PASSION KUALA LUMPUR. It has been a moment of stirring and sizing there. When I wake up this morning, guess what! I still have the wristband on my hand to remind myself to pray for PASSION JAKARTA. And with a little silly grin and happiness I prayed.

Throughout the week, I mean last week. I refer my life as a heavy-duty, with 6 interviews around Kuala Lumpur and PC fair up and conference. Wow I can't really imagine I had gone through many stuff from bad to good happening around me.

I know, I had not been posting blog like how I use to. Too bad!

Well just recall a few things.

• I witness a horrifying accident which I almost got into - this woman an illegal foreign opposite the road were few meter away me when suddenly she run across the road without looking left or right and got hit by a motorbike. Laterally she was drag along with bike and the rider itself for few meters before I attend to their aid. The woman ran off right after I help her up to side when I attend to the rider with injury and shock. Don't ask me how I know is an illegal foreign woman.

• Almost got pick-pocket during some travelling - I know there a lot pickpocket going on around public area in Kuala Lumpur. Not mistaken It was on Saturday actually when I head to PC fair. Well as usual everyone wants to get some cheap sales IT item on the fair. The LRT were jammed pack with people hardly any room to moves around. Well suddenly I notice there a hand closing to my pocket and with shock I gets my hand on the back pocket realizing there a hand closing to it. Luckily wallet is not missing. Cause it contain RM 200. And I am broke if the wallet is gone

• Got some thought about woman/ladies got molest on public - As usual again, Kuala Lumpur people are jammed pack here and there from Monday till Sunday no difference. People are just around KL and fill in the public transport like a sardine fish in cans. Well on PC fair actually when I notice some pervert where they simply runs into female. Some even take extra advantage on real packed site.

• Rude and immoral driver - pedestrian are everywhere and driver should give first priority to them. But somehow it doesn't happen anymore. They are rude and they are aggressive on the road. Honing here and there. Road are no longer safe anymore.

As I said heavy-duty! I got 6 interviews but the expectation is to demand and I rejected it. Gosh!!

What a demanding person I am.

Secondly PC fair is so cheapskates this year. And I am so disappointed in it. I can't get item I needed such as AM2 desktop motherboard for my new processor, DVD writer to replace the old CD writer, 8GB pendrive, few others accessories for my laptop. Gosh the item has be so expensive compare to the last pc fair. And i rather get it from shop with warranty about the same price.

Thirdly, the weather is so compromise. The whole week has been so hot. Sometimes the weather changes all of sudden from no way water falling from a sunny day on me. And yesterday I almost get soak up.

Lastly and off, glad I am still in one piece and doing fine blogging here after so much off non-stop complain.

As I continue my PASSION Kuala Lumpur. Whoa, wahh, gees, yeah...I still fresh and excited. Hehehe. After such a difficult and troublesome Sunday. I got the ticket in. Before this I can't get any ticket in hand. It was sold out online and around church. My church didn't promote PASSION KUALA LUMPUR because we just had a CELL CONFERENCE and ENCOUNTER CONFERENCE and HEALING ENCOUNTER on the way. Teenager and college student which I still not close to didn't notice such a great event that is coming up. Sadly I can't really help to promote PASSION KUALA LUMPUR without the material but I had called a few people to go by facebook , sms and calls.

Back to the point, my hearts were pumping real hard when I realize so many people around. I was so faithless and panic. Cause I hate to be left off. And worst of all, wasting time coming all the ways and feel disappointed. I race myself to the conference hall and asked the people there about the ticket. I were told I could get it from the hotel lobby and I had to race myself to the lobby just to get hold of it and by faith and hope got it at last. I was among 3315 lucky people to get the ticket (don't ask how I know, it is just stated on the wristband).

PASSION KUALA LUMPUR was awesome people rush on the escalator at 4pm when the event suppose to start at 6pm. Some waited patiently and some people getting junkie to fill their hunger while some get hand on CD and T-shirt.

Hours of patient lastly door flung open at 5.45. People rush in to grab the best sitting for sure. Middle front where it had the best viewing position of CHRIS TOMLIN, Musician and Louie sermon. Truly inspired by the word and worship, and truthfully I has not had such a great time of worship awhile already. I scream my lung out, jumped high, lifting hands up, sweating and sang ignoring the people around me. And I guess everyone is the same to.

And yes of course we come together represent in one soul and spirit to worship one name, one fame and a story. We truly amazed by his love and his wonder. No boundaries at all. people around SUNWAY SHOPPING MALL and SUNWAY CONVENTION CENTER are trembling at our shout of praise wondering what happening. Music and our worship are echoing around the mall. Awesome.

But too bad it didn't last that long. And everything has an end on this earth. I wish the time stop where I can worship at no cost. The event end at 10pm and but each one of us go back home with a new empowerment and impact.

After the event ended. I tried to get a taxi head home. Gosh the taxi driver really knows how to cheat with customer at peak hour. But I didn't take those and waited for a right one because I believe god will sent taxi to me. Waited 30min and notice this uncle is going back to the same place as me with 3 of his kids trying to get a taxi back to. I asked his whether we can hook into a taxi together. Guess what! The uncle agrees with a smile and he even treats me the ride when we reach. But I tried not to. Cause I didn't event know him and we had agree on 50 50 payment. But the uncle rejected my good intention. Maybe is a god work after all. PRAISE THE LORD.

And here the ends. Inspire by gods touch really impact me. Guess there will be a new awakening in me as how my last YA camp with the theme "TELL THE WORLD" had awaked me to TELL THE WORLD during my ns training months. And this is PASSION KUALA LUMPUR so its must be a call of passion and I can't wait for the calling.

Sign out.

passion-ed

I just got a little time to write this now. I am really exhausted yet i am so excited and bless for what had happen the last few hour. YEahhh...

i am a crazy, insane and die hard fan of JESUS CHRIST. whatever u want to called me or word me for my craziness or insanity are pleases to be.

i got the ticket to PASSION KUALA LUMPUR after all. YAhuuuoo.. i am still so desperate to blog this event even i am tired. I am really amazed by PASSION KUALA LUMPUR.

and here what i got from their blog 286generation

It’s going to be hard to describe the beauty of this night, a huge celebration of the grace of God in the midst of the biggest collision of cultures I have ever seen. 4000 people packed into the Sunway Convention Center tonight, representing a giant mix of nations, students studying here in Malaysia from throughout Asia, Africa and the Arabic speaking world. And tonight they were all about one story, one name, one fame.....

it is really insanity. before 3pm itself people have already gather around the entrance and with more then 4,000 college student and teenager crowded hall room coming from as far as state of melaka (someone i get to know) for one thing PASSION. together we worshiping in one spirit for one name, one fame, one passion.

before i begin i would like to introduce the event again.

Passion Conferences is a Christian organization (also referred to as the 268 Generation), founded by Louie Giglio in 1997, known for their annual spiritual awakening gatherings of college students. It is a movement where college and university students gather together to learn about the Creator, the Creation, [un]Creation and New Creation.

talking about passion, people have passion in different form. but PASSION CONFERENCE has set us(CHRISTAN) in one mind set for the people we love, we care about, friend, families and best if all enemies to get save through Christ. the vision of passion they spark in us just grew as each minute god work in hand and in spirit. people change, passionate for lost soul and desire for god in them/me change.

the passion grew in us are ease off and no longer subjected to our weakness and sin we have. everything is different now. a new beginning, new chapter are written tonight.

i also really amazed by Ashley testimonies shared by Louie Giglio in his sermon - Ashley who a party darkest headnut back to light part in 3 month. she facing difficulty in her relationship, and with a divorce parent and living with her boyfriend. thing change when this girl -fruitcake- walk into her life when she broke up with boyfriend who cheating at the back. thing start to change when fruitcake share and care but is a sad ending the last part. i will tried to upload the sermon i recorded later on.

as usual Chris Tomlin and his musician did a great job. and i really like the song they presented. BEST of all they launch a new song in malaysia if i am not mistaken. and sadly i didn't bring enough money to get the t-shirt and cd. the t-shirt was really nice and cds were cheap too. xp

Jakarta friend

hi Jakarta friend,i got the change to pray or u all i am praying for you people here in Malaysia for the info. is a compulsory prayer that we must uphold. is like how manila people have pray for us and london pray for manila and so on. heart and care to you all.

lastly, thanks thank you, Passion Conferences, Ptr.Louie & Sheryl Giglio, Chris Tomlin, Becca Music, Passion organizers, Passion media team, Passion volunteers.
May the Lord richly bless you and your ministries!

Independent Thinker

Independent Thinker

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.

Independent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

PASSION KUALA LUMPUR

Well i can sleep and now is somewhere about 5 am. Just surfing throughout some blog and lastly i found a interesting video media from darentiff blog.

PASSION KUALA LUMPUR GONNA TO ROCK MALAYSIA THIS COMING 3rd August. This up coming event is really got to be awesome. And please come and block all u activities and event on that date.

GOD IS DOING SOMETHING IN MALAYSIA

AND IT GOT TO BE NOW

HE WILL MOVES IN MALAYSIA LIKE NEVER BEFORE

AND THIS NATION WILL TRANSFORM

FOR HE COME TO GIVE US HOPE AND PEACE

COME AND JOIN THIS EVENT.

hi

wow..is like kinda long time i didn't come over here d as i had move on to wordpress... but sometime i do visit here as well...

well i am good recently, as usual my life still suck bored and lonely. nothing much to talk about. but doesn't mean i dun have a life back here... so far have been thinking alot of thing, and settle some of it. gosh i so so so penniless nowadays.hahahaaa... hopefully i still can make use of the blog over here or u can forward yourself to my new blog on the site link at my page. catch up ya.

Hopefully i can get into a college by end of this week is what i hope for when the sun shine into room

As each day passed by, I have always wanted to be in college as soon as possible,but thing always didn't happen the way it should be. Being a 18 year's old teenager, it have always be tough and hard. As each day I wake up from sleeps and head to washroom, i hope there are something new and surprise await for me, in fact i hope my parent will said "YOU ARE GOING COLLEGE TODAY SON".

Well yesterday night have been hard. I talked to my parent about my college, in fact i really don't want to waste this precious time that are passing by me before. But thing didn't turn out to be way it suppose to be, I talked to them about the fees, and few others thing but my parent disagree with me about the college just because the fees in too expensive more over i just doing a A's level over there that all.

To me i have always agree that parent shouldn't pamper their children and give what best for their children always, but i definitely 100% disagree with them about not giving the best studies for their children. In today's world everything is fast growing in economic and industry as we can see. Giving their children the best studies only can guarantee their children future ahead of them. But the fact my parent don't think the way i do.

So i argue about it and left me nothing to said in the end, back to my room that very moment feeling very disappointed in them, i didn't cried about it but i do really worry about my future with all kinds of question popping up all night long.

"Is there any way i could reach or even talk to them about it?"

"Will there be a miracle?"

"Is there an end to this all that are happening to me"

This is question have be in my mind all night long. Beside that, i have be thinking the whole night and listen to some jazz to chill down, but still i don't find any door to my conclusion. As the sun begin shine into my room another day has passed by. Still figuring answer i told myself WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY.

blogspot or wordpress?

blogspot or wordpress??? it seem wordpress is much fun compare to this blogspot...i have visited my friend blog at wordpress yesterday and almost complete reading all the blog stuff from the beginning till the end.

And i find that wordpress is much better compare to blogspot...well eventually wordpress got more function and thing to do there compare to blogspot...beside that,the layout and posing is much more organize over there as well...should i change it or just keep this blog here?

numerous of question are popping out here...cause i think my blog over here are almost dead...but i still want to keep it alive beside that, is there a ways i can keep 2 blog at once...*wondering away*......

head shrunk

it is really head shrunk over here....i have been laying around,sleeping around,hanging around,fooling around round and round of countless times..it seem i am getting slower and inactive as the day gone by after national service as now i even more lazy as before...i thought there are more life when i am done with it...nevertheless i am still being stack up with BOREDNESS within me...hearing the same album and playing the same games day and night really horrible,in fact being alone in my little small world is really miserable...each day as i wake up with a new inspiration but in the end of the day but only could find depression...

by the way i did the same routine from morning till night everyday except for Friday and Sunday...perhaps i really need to search for my way...now there are 2 option available for me...but in this 2 option i still can find any answer as usual maybe it wasn't my life road....as i sit by everyday facing this laptop more question pop up in my mind i wonder what i want actually...i feel so horrible,terrible,miserable and depress by all kind of force from parent till my future college to money to life...as i sit and still figuring more thought are taking control of me...what can i do about it...i feel so a loser and a broken piece of junk being left out of fun which i could find easily out there.

imprefection of me

I do not believe that people should be held accountable for the words they say under circumstances that require the utmost delicate touch. I do not hold myself responsible for the stupid things I may have done in the past for I did it out of carelessness, something all humankind is bound to do. I find myself guilty of not taking responsibility for measures i have taken that are beyond my own. For the lives I crushed for no reason that is reasonable. I ask that you only see the flesh that i have been born into and seek within you what I hope you see fit in me to forgive. I have tried and unfortunately not survived. I have searched and unfortunately I have not been found. See me from where I see myself and all others around me, from the far distance of imperfection. Watch with me as we conquer the criticism and backstabbing of the crowd. March with me into your nightmare and I promise you, I'll hold your hand through it all. We'll defeat demons and travel mountains, we'll swim seas and walk through valleys, trust in my imperfection as I will yours and never again shall we fear how we have done another wrong.

for you

i just dunno how to live on....life just getting started and i feel so suck already..as each day passed by i keep thinking about her..is a really big mistake,is really wrong for me to take the risk...i didn't know it can turn out to be like this...i am really sorry for what i have did to you...i am really sorry even sometime i cant forgive myself because of what i did on that night...it was foolishness of me to be blame on...i just dunno why it happen...and now left me nothing but full of regretfulness in this lonely spirit...why i am acting this way...why,but answer is never to be found within inside me...now all is left is a smile and your lovely face which i always can dream of and never to be see again in my entire life here...is all my fault to be blame upon for letting this simple relationship break...i just cant forgive myself till you forgive me...but what i wish for the most now is your smile and the relationship that pass by us....the time where we talk on phone,the time where i was criticise by you,laughter and tear that we share...i just miss the old and long gone you back...that why i cant let you go by...i know is my mistake...what more else i could do now?...no matter how hard i tried and how much i explain it mean nothing to you already...cause you have someone u needed...sorry again for what i did and what i have done for making you so disappointed in me...

all left to do for me is to let time passes by and wait...even i have to wait for my entire life....

frustration

haiz...really dunno what to do after plkn...i am fussing over my my course...i keep wondering what course should i take as i am a damn lazy bugger....wonder here and there....i am so so fuss Taylor or help or any other college i can go...and i actually have been thinking twice as hard cause the pilot-ing course have offer a very high expectation from the candidate..haiz...should i take A's level or juz take up business or engineering course....arghhhh..*brain gonna burst soon*...being this useless is really tired...if not i guess i have to wait till next year if i dun decide now as intake is closing soon...fish net man...hurry guess i have to make my DECISION SOON..haiz

mess up picture from all event i am at plkn

this is my kayak team menber...training session from morning till
evening it turn us into a monster in juz 3weeks times...



this is when we do kerja amal or a.k.a charity work...this mak cik is damn nice...


our time of freedom and stress relief place after first days of tired hot day at
kem plkn jurga training training for our tomorrow competition.


thanks you sir...



looking for victim


plkn best friends...


from the left Johnathan,sally and me.



nice pic from tan's



teaching student to hold rifle gua..



noob-ster form plkn...

INTERRUPTION

SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION ....

PICTURE FROM PLKN WILL UPLOAD IN A WHILE MORE...PLEASE BE WAIT FOR A FEW DAYS MORE....

END OF PLKN

i am back at last...this time for good..i will never ever going back to the SO CALLED PLKN camp...being there can mean alot of stuff to me...even there are sweet and bad time...i still hate being there wasting my precious time...apart from that i really glad that i am given a opportunity to experience the awesome "PLKN" even most of the teenager hate to pronounce this words...but i urge teenager nowadays to join this program...it would be a great fun being there meeting all kinda strange,funny,weird,and real ugly ppl over there...best thing is to be in group is all i can say...beside the food suck i also really like alot stuff there from teacher and thing i learn and friend beyond word can express...teacher i meet is really a pleasure and joy to know them..they are much better and great then the outside teacher in schools i have meet so far...teacher i meet there really make my heart pour out to them...i mean i really can trust and care for them(i don't usually care for unknown stranger) moreover their wonder of love and care toward me is really beyond word expression...

beside that there are alot great friend i really appreciate...as i know most ppl out there only need friend as a companion and nothing more that...but now i have the answer what friend is...friend is someone who willing to share their happiness with me and my took away my sadness,friend is someone who will stand by us no matter what happen,friend is someone who help to watch our back and always walk together no matter who we are,friend is someone who willing to sacrifice himself from the ppl who is hurting me,friend is someone who dun care about what i say to them even sometime i hurt their feeling and friend is someone who will encourage and give us hand and strength when i am weak ,tired and break down...this is what i learn in the camp...i really want to THANKS ALL MY FRIEND i meet there...no matter where u are nor what u are i will forever respect and appreciate the thing u have done in my life over there...

the lesson might be boring yet when we really wan to know something it wont make us feel bored at all even we listen hundreds times...what i like about it is the CHARACTER BUILDING class i and 2, beside that i also like the fourth class COUNTRY CONTRIBUTION...well being in this 2 classes always make me feel comfortable beside meeting friends...the point this 2 classes teacher is awesome the teaching is much more fun compare to the others classes i been into which is suck and bored...i really want to thanks personally to my CB class teacher (cikgu sabri,cikgu azza,cikgu siti and classmate...they are the one who make me realize what i am,changes i need to change in my character and behavior and who i wan to become in future...they are THE BEST CLASSMATE...then the country contribution is also another fun class to be in it help me to know what Malaysia's situation is now and help us to be someone who will contribute our strength into it...(but i have to see how cause i don't simply interfere into some politic issue plus as long it dont goes against my right i am happy to continue my simple daily walk)...thanks again to my cc classmate LOVE YOU ALL and cikgu libar also...(opss do i spell it wrongly)


PLKN always have been a great place to be in and the bad part of it is the food suck as usual,but that not the main problem,cause sometime it also taste real good and tasty...but what i dislike over there is some malay guys who always try to find fault and problem with the chinese ppl over there as i want to let you ppl to know i just got bash up last 2days before plkn end...u all must be wondering why rite...well actually alot ppl at camp know nor maybe when u read this u may think i am telling story...but what i write here is all the truth and nothing else...if u think i am tellin story u can skip here and be in the end


well thing start on the Thursdays morning...well i cant really recall much of what have happen until clearly in the 11.30 after our last marching rehearsal that day...on the way back dorm together with my friend after such a long tired morning doing rehearsal we finally got a chance go to canteen for a morning tea break..after our drinks i went back with a friend to dorm but when i reach there without knowing what happen in the dorm suddenly there comes a malays guys accusing one of my friend for stealing with force...then i ask what happen actually...so i went to check my locker if is got break in then this malays use hand force over the Chinese ppl in the dorm and i feel it is not right so i stand for my fella friends...so i scold them and i feel really sad for few item i have got stolen...so i scold them and talk common sense in front of them saying we are doing the rehearsal together how can it be us and telling them my locker have been break in also...so i feel it is not right to accuse chinese ppl who steal their stuff....half way talk malays ppl tot they got a big group can bullies the smaller group of chinese ppl...then i have no choice as this malays wira still using their dirty hand on chinese guys with force and holding their head and neck...got no choice and cant bear to see my friend being like that i stand up for them and argue with them till fight occur....even i got more of the punches kick and hard boot land on my bodies i still wan to fight till the end...what happen there that time is beyond what i can recall it lasted for more then 5min fight (extra info:my square leader also bash me up yet i try to revenge he jump to the back so chickening fella,dare to belasah me but dun dare to take hit from me)but when the fight end and cikgu nan arrive at my dorm without knowing wat really have happen i explain to him that my locker got break in and the fight just occur before he arrive...even though he take action about then passed to the O.C still nothing the o.c can do about it...i have tr to explain and because the word 'tengking' (i definitely dunno what is that) then i lost 50% of my explaining chance...beside that cikgu bob and cikgu zul have been fair to me cause majority is malays ppl involve...so teacher keep asking me not to bring up the matter to the discipline and i really hate it...stubborn form more then 30min lastly i give up and let them win the case cause i was force to do so and dun have any other option at all in the meantime cikgu nordin also come and add firewood into the fire so got no choice i have let it go...and in the same time i have to apologize to them even i am not wrong at all...really bullshit that time...haiz...


anyways i really glad it is over now...freedom at last but my revenge will seek them till my last breath on this world...again i THANKS ALL THE TEACHER AND FRIENDS AND PEOPLE THAT I MEET OVER THERE...all the best to you all in the future and take care buddies...love and respect to the people who respect me and love the the who don't hate me,care for the people who share with me...

ends

To realise

To realize the value of a sister,
Ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years,
Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years
ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year
Ask a student whohas failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize the value of one month
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one hour
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize the value of one minute
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second
Ask a person who has survived an accident...

To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.


Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:Lose one.

The origin of this writer is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
Do not keep this message.
Forward! it to friends to whom you wish good luck
Peace love and prosperity to all

just back

fuh...this place look so dusty and dull...let me cheer here up...well actually i am back from national service program just for break. =) nothing much to say about it as it is bored and waste time...a couple of friend ppl there that all...best of all meet a number of good buddies and companion...food as usual suck and disgusting and not fresh at all...haiz...horrible way of living there..beside that i have nothing else to complain about it already...haiz

anyhow i'll be back soon to tell ur about my daily event..just wait for me to come back...that time i might have alot of thing to tell you people out there....

fu*k SPM(sendiri punya masalah)

today is the worst day of my life and most heart breaking...*hate it...i really mad myself because of my SPM RESULT IS OUT...GUESS WHAT!!! those subject i wanted to aim A's for got C's and not many subject i aim for A's got A's...*wth*...i put my effort in and i do my revision and so on...but guess what i got in the end of it...NOTHING...haiz...now i juz feel bad and guess my future is in a ruin and i dunno how to further my study....
let god himself decide for me...i mean now i am totally hopeless and in my parent eyes i like a rubbish because of the result...they see my affort but my ending equal to nothing..so i xxxxx xxxxxx lalalallallaaaala........



why it have to be like this...why why why why why...............bla bla bla..!



why me...those ppl below me also can do something about their grade and why is me in a serious state...i am not satisfy and i really badly wanna go into college...anyone out there can recommend me some course...and what can i do...help and make me relief pls...pls pls pls...........

FROM TODAY ONWARD I TIMOTHY LAM OR KNOWS AS KOK LEONG NOR FROSS GONNA STAND UP AND BE A GOOD,HYPER AND INTERESTING FELLA

why am i taking this vows!!! *sweat*

i know i kinda boring fella always ups with my own point of view and thought...but today onward after few days of dull life...lastly i know i must enjoy this life while i can and stop worrying about the future what ahead....i know there have been alot ups and downs in my life recently...but this ain't gonna stop me now as how i use to be,i mean the last time where i always think of positive stuff and where ppl always look up to me for advice...so mean i gonna change my character and be a fun interesting fella looking forward and stand up again in searching for greatness in my life...


nevertheless i will stand down nor let ppl kick me at my ass again nor push me around like a puppet..so mean i gonna have the courage and i hope this courage gonna be strong base for me to stand on and a foundation where i can stand and lend no till i find something more solid in my life


and do u know that i gonna resign this week itself...*hahahahaha* =)
i gonna enjoy my rest soon for my ns(national service) before this i wanna ask u to come and join my for shopping spree...yup...i mention it...*kekekee* u must be wondering why rite...actually is kinda gross to c guy do shopping and i dun ,=mind about it as i like it too...hahahahahaaa...in order to enjoy and get ready for ns this is what i can do...beside that u can also ask me out for a event nor just hang out at cafe...not to mention i do hang out at any STARBUCKS i could find....*i love their coffee and hang out space...*winks*


ok la reach here for today...and pls encourage me so i can stand up again...

sign out...Zzzzzzzzzzz


by the way did i mention i am going off to ns soon....

sucked up life

oh hi,well i juz wanna express myself today,for the last few days of how i have been thinking and so on...well,everyday when i awake in the morning this word(what u gonna accomplishes today) always pop up in my head and make me think and stare at the ceiling for a moment and make my think hard...after the whole days pass by and ppl around kicked me hard at my ass and left me nothing...i will start to think all kind of nonsense and stuff and what i did today or even having love sick again...when i am young i always wonder why grow up always have alot of trouble and stuff to do and now i realise being a grow up is not so fun and yes there will be a long and hard journey to walk on till we grow old and rag till die....

and i dare to say what i am thinking recently is kinda really serious and got to do with my life...i always wonder and make conclusion on my own and judge myself and think hard to fix my suck up life and change it for a better future but there nothing i can do about it as i am only 18 this year even i might have the freedom and space of my own doesn't mean i can change it as my parent make the final call...even sometime this kinda issue make my brain crack and stay active when i am asleep physically and sometime it make me go crazy...but i know i cant resolve it...beside that load of work and trouble from office really gonna kill me soon cause i can bear the problem and catch up much with senior...beside that i'm too in a damn serious shit of desperation for girlfriend cause life without partner is kinda suck...why am i saying this...well as a teenager we have alot of peer pressure and secret in life and sometime this little dirty secret is hard to share among friend and family and we really wan to keep this secret in between whom we really can trust...


and why i say my life is suck up...well the fact is kind funny as u continue to read...well being a growing teenager into a young adult and working as a part-timer and doing my own stuff in my little small world is kinda bored...thinking honestly i badly wan to have a girlfriend right by me,REASON!!!

1)everyday having my own lunch alone IS DULL AND BORED
2)having my drink in a cafe alone IS SUCK when there is no special someone to chat to
3)run into my friend and their partner IS TOTAL SUCK when i am alone
4)go out alone nor watch movie alone really make ME BORED AND PAIN IN THE ASS
5)when needed someone to talk to and no one to turn to is BORING

CONCLUSION
MY LIFE IS SUCK AND BORED,MEANINGLESS AND LONELY


and i do have more reason but i juz dunno how to write it down as it may sound the same with different meaning...as we know one picture can have alot of meaning at the background therefore i dun wanna elaborate anymore

and at 3plus today i do have a really bad messenger conversation and pls dun and as it always have been,thing never turn out well and despite the surrounding i now in a deep shit of guiltiness...nothing to talk about it as it is personal and confidential...

Sunday as usual

hrmmmm nothing to write la...Saturday was boring after work,after work when for initial d practise and when home to complete the leftover upgrading computer stuff...

today is Sunday,nothing much to say about as u know i went to church,church is where u learn god and spend time with him and grow spiritually in him...today i went for first service because got some event at 11am which is a MUST TO BE THERE...during at the first service when i sitting with Charisse beside me suddenly there a stranger which is a girl come about to change place with her,i wonder why and it terrify me at a moment after sometime i realise why she sit beside me!,it because the place she sit is cool and the air-corn is juz beneath her *hahahaha* and wonder why Charisse willing to let go her sit to sit under there????...after the first service,i head for for the form 5 orientation...at first i wonder what is all about? but then,finally got the answer is was about IT ABOUT TRANSFERRING INTO A NEW CAMPUS CELL GROUP WHERE EVERYONE THERE IS MATURE AND IN COLLEGE LIFE ONLY(so so bored!)...is kinda bored when the event started cause the didn't plan they event properly and there is less then 30 ppl around*wonder where the rest???!! we have public caning for games and then pastor give some speech and i know there are 3 other ppl which have the same name as me include me which are timothy lam,timothy lee,timothy liew*so many timothy not include others*

after pastor speech we juz pray and have lunch which is KFC(Kentucky fried chicken) and pizza*all this food gonna make me cough like mad tomorrow* but when the fellowship started I'm like a stranger or a outsider*wth* no now ever talk to me nor be friend with me...suck(rather didn't go if i know this what happen)...for 5 hour at church today nothing even happen to me,i mean no new friend at all even though there are some ppl that know me...haiz...sad bored Sunday as usual...

usual friday

let see wat i have for today post!!!...i think better write down about yesterday...yesterday is Friday! and it juz another usual day i have...nothing special to talk about it since is my working hour from morning 7.00am to afternoon 4.30pm...*arghhh,why it so bored wan*...

well after 4.30pm i rush home to fix my computer and do some upgrade work such as changing a NEW motherboard and NEW processor and format latest window and most of hardware is NEW which almost cost me about RM600 plus...now is juz half complete and guess will be done today and i kinda pokai now cause didn't plan properly what to get...*goshhh another terrible mistake for this month*...i hope the amount that i spend in upgrading my computer will satisfied me with real good speed and power in performance for games...hahahaa


and nite is also,usual where i go to my cell group...one thing interesting about it,is cell group are always the best place to spend ur time in hearing god word and learning about life and meet up with ppl and stuff...but yesterday was different...is kinda cool i guess...cause is like we dun even remember having cell at all...i mean NO WORD and NO WORSHIP(because we didn't prepare anything and everything is so last minute)*sorry cell*...we juz spend the nite by playing games(nonsense games such as body-glove,mafia,i know u) and talk nonsense and gossip there...well i didn't gossip for sure because i hate gossiping and i know i make alot of lame joke and stupid stuff there and i am me as always when I'm with ppl that i know...hahahahaa*gosh*...and when the time came for body glove is was total fun without regret,where i whack Charisse and Sarah till their leg is burn red...opss*sorry*(it was games) and yes my leg also are burn red with finger printed there on my leg from them...anyway it was fun for the whole nite till 10 plus i guess... and then my brain is blank(sleep)*tired jor...lol

hand by hand

as usual my day start off at 6:50 am in the morning by waking up and get ready myself for work...at about 7:15 i start heading to the bus stop to get my bus as my work place is juz 3km away(save money on petrol and parking already) then as i wait for the bus i saw this crazy ppl who didn't prepare themselves the nite before or wake up late rushing to work in their car without caring the pedestrians who cross the road and few of them juz honk those ppl who are crossing(are they trying to be road bullies)...i juz feel those idiot are the world most stupid ppl and didn't even study then road law when they take their car licence and that really stupid of them...juz then i saw this 2 Malay kids who wanted to cross the road but the traffic juz seem to heavy for them to cross themselves and those adult Malay ppl who cross the road as well juz seem don't care about them and juz cross by themselves i wonder what kinda world is this(i thought Malays ppl always help their own racer as they dun care about Chinese or even Indian race) so i juz wait for a little more while as i watch this cruel world and bloody nasty ppl and asshole car driver who juz don't care to lend a hand for the 2 poor Malay kids whom desperate cross road and scare of being late for their classes at the surau near by.as we know the tv or radio even advertise and taught us how to lend a hand for kids to cross road by holding their hand....

poor Malays kids,now waited for 5 minute to cross the road already...all adult who cross the road who see them yet didn't help are really a bastard*yes i juz swear upon them*...then i juz make up my mind about to help them even i am not their kind as i know how god have shower his love,grace and mercy to me by lending his wide protective hand when i needed the most so i must also be a example for his will upon me...so i juz take all my strengh and will to walk up to help them even i waited at the bus-stop for about 8 minute and my bus about to come already and put shame on all adult ppl there waiting for bus stop and adult who crossed the road without caring to lend a hand for those kids...and yes i do help them to cross the road safely and even when i help this poor kids some bastard trying to run over me...but i juz don't care as this kids are my first priority...and less then a 40 second they have cross the busy traffic already*glad that i can be a big help to them when they needed the most*...and i am really proud of myself as this kids say thanks and wave good bye to me...as i walk up to the bus stop again and stood there listening to my music ,all the ppl at the bus stop see my kind and helpful action i have show even i looked like a zombie there and even some ppl juz turn away and looked ashamed of themselves...and i glad how god have pour his love for me to show his love for all mankind here...

my day was bad...

my day was bad...i mean real bad...how???


i mean i dun have a good sleep the nite b4...i do sleep yet my brain didn't slp...you know la(the thought is still roaming around my head) and yes i glad that she call at last at 2:50am...she called and then hang up(mean miss call gua)...then i call her back...when i called her i thought is around 12 plus but actually is 2:50am in the morning cause i went to slp early around 10 plus but yet is not consider sleeping as my brain is still active and can hear all kinda noise mostly those ppl who work over nite because of setting up all the camp near the football field near my housing area for the damn election stuff...we do talk a little cause she still having assignment to finish...guess she miss me*wakakaka* after such a long time i didn't call her because of work but our conversation lasted for 10 min only... :( but i am glad she called...well then i continue laying at my bed cause i am awake already(i am kinda zombie as u can know) till morning...well then the bell ring sharp at 7:00am and some rude ppl out there which joining the election walk use loud speaker and honk their damn car hon all the way at the main road...i really gonna sue them because of disturbing the Sunday morning peace...then i juz head for the restroom to clean myself because i cant continue to have my restless slp and i have to go church as well then i took all my clothes for washing and clean my bedroom because as well...soon after that i get myself ready for church at about 8plus and then blah blah blah blah.....


now i m at church d...thing didn't turn up well, and i am still consider NEW over there cause i juz join this church this after spm and i dun really have alot of friend over there but yet i do greet some ppl that i recognize that all...so i juz have to hangout there alone at my sit..but i am glad i still have a couple of friend from my cell to talk to...but during praise and worship time start i dunno why i dun feel rite and have no mood to worship god which i am eager to worship and praise him in the morning before i came to church when i am on the way there..then this girl turn out(another girl i like) as u know i still have love sick...then i juz bad and old thought come in and this old thought make me worst and i dun feel rite and i juz stood there all the way through the time of praise and worship and looking over at her...then come to the message which really caught my attention which the topic is about teenager nowadays and blah blah blah till church was over and blah blah blah again...


reach home and there is no lunch and i am the only son in the family who go to church and my parent when out for family or shopping spree i guess -.-..but i juz then i old enough to take care of my own so i juz go cook some Maggie mee and eat and then take a short nap...when i am awake i head to ioi mall to practise my initial d game again...then here i am already dropping at a cyber cafe checking my mail and writing this blog...and then nite i guess will be a damn blah blah blah nite...and tomorrow will be working days...sein...so i juz let this bored and bad day ruin me till the new day begin..sign out

=.= i am so noob today..thanks

it have been a hard 3 month after spending and learning for the almost 3 month for the new initial d version 4 at last i learn a new kind of technique from IN *thanks buddy* thanks for all the friend and ppl who willing to teach and now i am ready to go for the big challenge which to make my own fame and record so that the whole Malaysia region know me and acknowledge me being one's of the best among the best...it have been total hard time as i think i have spend about 1k plus currently juz to built 2 car(HONDA S2000 AND TOYOTA TREUNO AE86)which one car need at least RM500 to full tune and now this 2 car really bring out the real me in diving into making my own fame in ver 4 and my current rank at my place(ioi mall) is top 2 in puchong area....i hope both of this car can roar along with me as i building another new car(MAZDA RX-7)...and hopefully i make it into top 20 Malaysia by end of this year...well friend if u wanna see me in action u can always come to midvalley or ioi mall...sometime I'll be at times square also...wish me luck

youth camp 2007 day 1



youth camp 2007 day 2


youth camp 2007 day 3(last day)



At last i found the video clip from the camp i went...hahaha...*so happy* and *after long time of of waiting* *tired* xp....if u see closely,u can find me in all the 3 video *bangga gila* xp...and i am inviting you...yes,you la no need looked around d! to join my church camp this very dec 2008 and i cant wait to see u join me to shake this world together...u can read my review in the past and in the blog of how god have change me over there...Jesus i love u and u rock me and shake me...

so i am inviting all ppl who view this come and join me this year

love sick!

sometime i just have love sick...love sick mean u fall for a girl easily...i use to like this and that girl which i confess and it is very truth and proven scientifically for a teenager at my age...taken from a book review of what they write,"that teenager at the age of 18 to 20 are very common of having love sick"...i dare to say there are list of girl name pin into my heart and there are also a few mission i plan...but i dare not launch the mission because it may hurt other ppl feeling and twist the trust they have in me but i do let them know that i like them and tell what rubbish i can think of and i sometime do flirt with them too...and i am so sorry...beside that sometime love sick really make me desperate and confuse...all the girl i know is either study or at somewhere which is far...and i tent to miss them and and thought of them...beauty sometime can be a weapon to hurt guy..yes it is truth and don't ever underestimate the power of pretty ladies and girl for they also can turn u upside down and inside out...dun believe!! guys u can try,try it when u have pretty girlfriend then u go meet some which much more prettier then flirt with them then u know what happen next...i am sure that u kick Ur girlfriend away and go for the other girl and in the end u also will get rejected then u go back to the Ur ex-girlfriend and say sorry for the mistake u do and and hope u can have her back but then thing seem change and the answer u gonna have u will dislike it but i can say i am not that kinda guy...yes i may not have girlfriend but i do not have this kinda plan in my mind...truth is i planning to look for someone that i admire and like...such as smart,cute,pretty,non-talkative,independent, beautiful for sure,and other stuff which is too much to be mention here...somehow and some what i currently making my decision...even after making this decision..i am sure i wont get the girl i wan and i believe so...and all now is depend and all wait...i just have to let the time quickly passed by so that when the time comes and i am ready for a relationship then it will last long enough i guess...we know thing always look simple but actually it is hard...so everything i wrote here is truth about the real me and i confess it so there is no misunderstanding among us.

confuse

i juz dunno wat to write already...it has been 6 day passed already and i am still thinking about my pass....wth...i know is hard to moves on but still i have to move on with my life but i have alot of problem and trouble in my life as well...sometime it seem to be easy and simple but when we dun realise it,it make trouble out of it and confuse us when we didn't realise it...


my confusing brain and problem has trouble me for a few days already when my problem started at this 14 feb 08 in the very early in the morning and until now...i juz hope there is another way to settle this and wish i have not make this dumb decision...all this while it really hurt when i call and never pick and answer and msg when u never reply...i was thinking for the pass few days and come to a conclusion where am i that worthless and dumb guy for her and meaningless and everything is less compare with other guys out there..i juz wish that i can have the answer now...and i wait and wait...i will continue to wait for this answer i gonna to get,and i know i wont like it...but till then i have to live up to my promised that i have make...

never appear...

yesterday was a disaster to me during valentine day...as we know valentine day is a day where we go out to date and make the one we love happy...and today is my 4th day that i never sleep...and i dunno what to write about it as my cell brain started to die slowly...

my story started in the morning of valentine days....as i get myself prepare for the valentine date i was so afraid that i cant even get the flower i want from the flower shop that i place order as they have promised me as those flower i place order was expensive and is selling like hot pan cake in bakery...i was so afraid that i cant get everything prepare as i was totally blur as the nite before i didn't sleep at all...as i travel down the road to the flower shop and get my flower i was so happy that the flower is still there await me...i as lucky and thought today is a lucky day for me and then i took a cab to mid valley...during my ride i was so nervous and think about her and taking my time as the time pass so fast by me as i stuck in the middle of traffic jam...as i reach mid valley i just make myself run to Starbucks as i told her Starbucks is the place where we will meet and hope she is there for me...well thing always never turn out he way we expected to be,as i reach there at Starbucks she no way to be found as i look through the window...so i juz find a place where i could sit and wait for her as she could have caught in jam or on her way here.so i juz sent her smses telling that i here waiting for her already and i got a drink for myself...time passed quickly as i have my third drink here and i have msg her few time d...as i stare through the window looking over a sea of ppl i juz cant wait for her to appear in front of me...suddenly my there a msg from her and i thought she is here and i stood up and look around juz to find out that her msg mention she is not coming and i reply her that i will wait till u come...looking over severed of couple which having their wonderful time holding each other hand and staring each other i started to get envy of them and cant bear the laugh and joy that they are sharing in between themselves without caring about other ppl looking at...but i know she will appear soon...time pass even more faster then even before...and now is6plus yet she didn't appear my faith and hope started to tremble slowly and afraid something has happen and i really look dumb and stupid by the ppl around...then stupid thing some into my mind and play around in my brain...so i juz walk of about 6.30pm to get so air and smoke(i usually smoke when i am confuse,desperate and trouble...other then that i don't) as i waited for her a while more...but thing never change...she is no way to be found no even her shadow...so i juz walk off...

desperate

as each day passed by i juz dun feel rite...i know this process is a part of growing up...well last nite i have not be sleeping..as most of ppl out there can thought and think of is normal thing for a teenager...well as far as i can know at the age of 18 most ppl out there like me are into relationship and i know a single male like me which doesn't even have a girlfriend is a disaster and disgrace to myself...but i know that i can get 1 soon but i first need to make plan and decision so that i wont messed up this relationship that i gonna take up and go for it...and in the mean while thing need to change in my life as we know ppl change as the grown so just wish me luck and pray for me as well...

my birthday!

today is my birthday and i turning 18 this year,it have been a tough 17 back then but after tonite everything gonna change...when talking about change i mean makeover and be mature and step into young adult world...as most of we can think and thought,well i thought birthday suppose to be a joyful event and a anniversary to remember the day we were born in this wonder and beautiful world...



as i know so far till now even my parent totally forget about my birthday...*yuck,how it could be !!! with a small bunch of my best friend from my ex-skul such as ho,Nic and Suk Lee ,June remember me *thanks to you all. between that, there too a bunch of insane and beautiful ppl that shine up my part and wishes me such as Charisse ,may yoong ,Sarah Wong ,James ,Regina are specially greeted by me which i cant forget and friend like Andre ,Beh ,Vern ,Yoong Ken ,Yun Shen *thanks dude!



even this year i didn't receive any present now....or some delay present later nor my birthday didn't not turn well or turn up this year,i have to say that this small little thing not gonna stop me and make me down...well i know i blessed with a bunch of buddy that take note of me and care for me and support me,which god himself give them to me as present...i looking forward to add more buddy and friend and best friend in future...thanks for all my friend that greet me...love you all very much from my heart...not to mention more present next year from you to me...alright!

beautiful isn't it!!!

this is the necklace i talking about...it was so cool and very special indeed..well look like i have to keep this for the rest of my life..as this necklace belong to someone already...i am not giving out to anyone out there..but i will bu something else instead for my future girlfriend...too bad to all lady out there...i so sorry for u all..because when i get this necklace i think of that girl only buy it...mean this girl is very special to me but too bad she have someone else instead...well u can now of this kind hand-made necklace at 1 utama i-box studio and LG.