Hopefully i can get into a college by end of this week is what i hope for when the sun shine into room

As each day passed by, I have always wanted to be in college as soon as possible,but thing always didn't happen the way it should be. Being a 18 year's old teenager, it have always be tough and hard. As each day I wake up from sleeps and head to washroom, i hope there are something new and surprise await for me, in fact i hope my parent will said "YOU ARE GOING COLLEGE TODAY SON".

Well yesterday night have been hard. I talked to my parent about my college, in fact i really don't want to waste this precious time that are passing by me before. But thing didn't turn out to be way it suppose to be, I talked to them about the fees, and few others thing but my parent disagree with me about the college just because the fees in too expensive more over i just doing a A's level over there that all.

To me i have always agree that parent shouldn't pamper their children and give what best for their children always, but i definitely 100% disagree with them about not giving the best studies for their children. In today's world everything is fast growing in economic and industry as we can see. Giving their children the best studies only can guarantee their children future ahead of them. But the fact my parent don't think the way i do.

So i argue about it and left me nothing to said in the end, back to my room that very moment feeling very disappointed in them, i didn't cried about it but i do really worry about my future with all kinds of question popping up all night long.

"Is there any way i could reach or even talk to them about it?"

"Will there be a miracle?"

"Is there an end to this all that are happening to me"

This is question have be in my mind all night long. Beside that, i have be thinking the whole night and listen to some jazz to chill down, but still i don't find any door to my conclusion. As the sun begin shine into my room another day has passed by. Still figuring answer i told myself WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY.

blogspot or wordpress?

blogspot or wordpress??? it seem wordpress is much fun compare to this blogspot...i have visited my friend blog at wordpress yesterday and almost complete reading all the blog stuff from the beginning till the end.

And i find that wordpress is much better compare to blogspot...well eventually wordpress got more function and thing to do there compare to blogspot...beside that,the layout and posing is much more organize over there as well...should i change it or just keep this blog here?

numerous of question are popping out here...cause i think my blog over here are almost dead...but i still want to keep it alive beside that, is there a ways i can keep 2 blog at once...*wondering away*......

head shrunk

it is really head shrunk over here....i have been laying around,sleeping around,hanging around,fooling around round and round of countless times..it seem i am getting slower and inactive as the day gone by after national service as now i even more lazy as before...i thought there are more life when i am done with it...nevertheless i am still being stack up with BOREDNESS within me...hearing the same album and playing the same games day and night really horrible,in fact being alone in my little small world is really miserable...each day as i wake up with a new inspiration but in the end of the day but only could find depression...

by the way i did the same routine from morning till night everyday except for Friday and Sunday...perhaps i really need to search for my way...now there are 2 option available for me...but in this 2 option i still can find any answer as usual maybe it wasn't my life road....as i sit by everyday facing this laptop more question pop up in my mind i wonder what i want actually...i feel so horrible,terrible,miserable and depress by all kind of force from parent till my future college to money to life...as i sit and still figuring more thought are taking control of me...what can i do about it...i feel so a loser and a broken piece of junk being left out of fun which i could find easily out there.

imprefection of me

I do not believe that people should be held accountable for the words they say under circumstances that require the utmost delicate touch. I do not hold myself responsible for the stupid things I may have done in the past for I did it out of carelessness, something all humankind is bound to do. I find myself guilty of not taking responsibility for measures i have taken that are beyond my own. For the lives I crushed for no reason that is reasonable. I ask that you only see the flesh that i have been born into and seek within you what I hope you see fit in me to forgive. I have tried and unfortunately not survived. I have searched and unfortunately I have not been found. See me from where I see myself and all others around me, from the far distance of imperfection. Watch with me as we conquer the criticism and backstabbing of the crowd. March with me into your nightmare and I promise you, I'll hold your hand through it all. We'll defeat demons and travel mountains, we'll swim seas and walk through valleys, trust in my imperfection as I will yours and never again shall we fear how we have done another wrong.