head shrunk

it is really head shrunk over here....i have been laying around,sleeping around,hanging around,fooling around round and round of countless times..it seem i am getting slower and inactive as the day gone by after national service as now i even more lazy as before...i thought there are more life when i am done with it...nevertheless i am still being stack up with BOREDNESS within me...hearing the same album and playing the same games day and night really horrible,in fact being alone in my little small world is really miserable...each day as i wake up with a new inspiration but in the end of the day but only could find depression...

by the way i did the same routine from morning till night everyday except for Friday and Sunday...perhaps i really need to search for my way...now there are 2 option available for me...but in this 2 option i still can find any answer as usual maybe it wasn't my life road....as i sit by everyday facing this laptop more question pop up in my mind i wonder what i want actually...i feel so horrible,terrible,miserable and depress by all kind of force from parent till my future college to money to life...as i sit and still figuring more thought are taking control of me...what can i do about it...i feel so a loser and a broken piece of junk being left out of fun which i could find easily out there.