is a sad thing

Spm have pass few days already...i really dunno what to do in the house...everyday just hang around in the house like a zombie walking and laying around...have been thinking alot since then...from girl till study and so on...well today i just wan to talk about this girl...well actually i have been admiring this gurl "a very special girl indeed" to be my partner few time d since form 4(06) but till today(07) i got rejected straight to my faces 2 times in a row... at the first time i ask her for a date is f4 but she reject me since then i thought she got her own reason for doing so such as she want to continue her study and dun wan ppl to disturb her study or maybe her parent don't allow it.

After spm over few days d i have been again and make up alot of stupid excuse and reason to ask her out again to be my partner but didn't make it and just about yesterday i have have been thinking very hard about the decision I'm about going to make and keep figuring excuse and reason which took me to make a final decision at 4 am to ask her again and yet got rejection from her again in the morning...is was another failure and it really hurt it feel like those word are like a knife slice into my heart when i feel safe...i dunno "what wrong with me"...is this a fate could i never be with her at all!!!...I'm wondering...just wondering...standing motionless and defenceless in the middle of no way i cry to myself deep down my heart and see through my passed in school i know that I'm not a playboy...seldom talk...and indeed sometime I'm can rude at teacher...a very good,protective,caring,helpful friend...yet y!!! is she really that mean...come on give a try gurl??...i always see how love formed in human even kids also know the process...as an old saying LOVE IS BLIND and UNCONDITION....haiz...what can i do to make her like me?...i got nothing to prove 'NOTHING'...but i know i can be a perfect partner a good and honest man protective and caring and always will be her side when she needed someone the most...anyhow everything i mention about it useless now...all i hope now is a miracles to happen...let god decide the fate...I'm just a very small powerless creature god created in this world...let him decide my fate...and let time just passes by day by day till she re