my life

Monday, June 30, 2008

blogspot or wordpress?

blogspot or wordpress??? it seem wordpress is much fun compare to this blogspot...i have visited my friend blog at wordpress yesterday and almost complete reading all the blog stuff from the beginning till the end.

And i find that wordpress is much better compare to blogspot...well eventually wordpress got more function and thing to do there compare to blogspot...beside that,the layout and posing is much more organize over there as well...should i change it or just keep this blog here?

numerous of question are popping out here...cause i think my blog over here are almost dead...but i still want to keep it alive beside that, is there a ways i can keep 2 blog at once...*wondering away*......

Sunday, June 29, 2008

head shrunk

it is really head shrunk over here....i have been laying around,sleeping around,hanging around,fooling around round and round of countless times..it seem i am getting slower and inactive as the day gone by after national service as now i even more lazy as before...i thought there are more life when i am done with it...nevertheless i am still being stack up with BOREDNESS within me...hearing the same album and playing the same games day and night really horrible,in fact being alone in my little small world is really miserable...each day as i wake up with a new inspiration but in the end of the day but only could find depression...

by the way i did the same routine from morning till night everyday except for Friday and Sunday...perhaps i really need to search for my way...now there are 2 option available for me...but in this 2 option i still can find any answer as usual maybe it wasn't my life road....as i sit by everyday facing this laptop more question pop up in my mind i wonder what i want actually...i feel so horrible,terrible,miserable and depress by all kind of force from parent till my future college to money to life...as i sit and still figuring more thought are taking control of me...what can i do about it...i feel so a loser and a broken piece of junk being left out of fun which i could find easily out there.

imprefection of me

I do not believe that people should be held accountable for the words they say under circumstances that require the utmost delicate touch. I do not hold myself responsible for the stupid things I may have done in the past for I did it out of carelessness, something all humankind is bound to do. I find myself guilty of not taking responsibility for measures i have taken that are beyond my own. For the lives I crushed for no reason that is reasonable. I ask that you only see the flesh that i have been born into and seek within you what I hope you see fit in me to forgive. I have tried and unfortunately not survived. I have searched and unfortunately I have not been found. See me from where I see myself and all others around me, from the far distance of imperfection. Watch with me as we conquer the criticism and backstabbing of the crowd. March with me into your nightmare and I promise you, I'll hold your hand through it all. We'll defeat demons and travel mountains, we'll swim seas and walk through valleys, trust in my imperfection as I will yours and never again shall we fear how we have done another wrong.

Monday, June 16, 2008

for you

i just dunno how to live on....life just getting started and i feel so suck already..as each day passed by i keep thinking about her..is a really big mistake,is really wrong for me to take the risk...i didn't know it can turn out to be like this...i am really sorry for what i have did to you...i am really sorry even sometime i cant forgive myself because of what i did on that night...it was foolishness of me to be blame on...i just dunno why it happen...and now left me nothing but full of regretfulness in this lonely spirit...why i am acting this way...why,but answer is never to be found within inside me...now all is left is a smile and your lovely face which i always can dream of and never to be see again in my entire life here...is all my fault to be blame upon for letting this simple relationship break...i just cant forgive myself till you forgive me...but what i wish for the most now is your smile and the relationship that pass by us....the time where we talk on phone,the time where i was criticise by you,laughter and tear that we share...i just miss the old and long gone you back...that why i cant let you go by...i know is my mistake...what more else i could do now?...no matter how hard i tried and how much i explain it mean nothing to you already...cause you have someone u needed...sorry again for what i did and what i have done for making you so disappointed in me...

all left to do for me is to let time passes by and wait...even i have to wait for my entire life....

Thursday, June 12, 2008

frustration

haiz...really dunno what to do after plkn...i am fussing over my my course...i keep wondering what course should i take as i am a damn lazy bugger....wonder here and there....i am so so fuss Taylor or help or any other college i can go...and i actually have been thinking twice as hard cause the pilot-ing course have offer a very high expectation from the candidate..haiz...should i take A's level or juz take up business or engineering course....arghhhh..*brain gonna burst soon*...being this useless is really tired...if not i guess i have to wait till next year if i dun decide now as intake is closing soon...fish net man...hurry guess i have to make my DECISION SOON..haiz